Dark Ecstasy

Me and Them,
like a separate things
Like two sides cant join together

Slide In
Carry On the whole you with the first impulse
Slide into the crowd
feel those arms around you
squeeze your body, so tight
devouring your breath
let them fool you,
let them taste a bit of you
just slide

remember this,
you will always come back.

skinny memories

Behind the blindness
the dream never dies,
starving day after day
having no reward
other than vanity for this sadistic behavior
I see Me, my own predator.

We were a union for destruction, I admit
she and I,
two people that destiny put together
friends on one side, enemies on behind
we were partners in life and our efforts were taking us to death
hilarious, delusional our world
feeling like a couple of fairies
fairies forever young and forever perfect
two never-land`s children, there, pretentious
weak Cinderella`s, feeding ourselves with sights
that and compliments,
she and I
sisters in life, in death

Was I becoming beautiful?

That was my eternal question

Hiding my need to feel loved
and fit for somebody that truly cared
wishing to belong to something
wishing to stop wandering streets
wishing to stop picking problems everywhere

All I did was to roll over
In search of dates and fame
Cared too much about men attention
Neither that made me happy or beautiful
How come a fairy would survive
this magazine world without admirers.

I wanted to become a magnet
the envy for woman
Me, the narcissism, the self-love
the blindness of desperation
Me, the loneliness
Me, the silence
Me, the exquisite pearl of sweetness
diving into the mod
Me, the sophistication
drowning in a trashy world I made me go In

And after all the days and nights feeling
close to die
becoming this fragile and useless
I learned that Men do not make fairies beautiful

I were beautiful all the time but did not knew
I had on me, all I ever needed, all the time.

Old fashion love

Along several years in my life
I was having love stages
I dont know if there is such a thing
but I felt it that way
in stages and waves love

for start I was standing on worship love
idealization, blindness
taking the challenge to make this reach its perfection.

I was looking through someone else`s eyes
I was thinking with someone else`s brain

ending up with living someone else`s life too.

And when you reach the bottom of self sacrifice
in the holly name of love
and hit the floor with the head
then you got to wake up..

Then horrified, for the first time allowed myself to look at the chains..
to smell the misery of the person I was become
allowed me to accept I may be not that happy..
and I couldnt find a reason, to deserve my own life

I fell into a spiral phase,
sliding to the confusion,
the fear to make a new world for me
the one with oxygen

So wisely, Anthony de Mello`s wrotes the food I starved
To understand I cant put my happines depending on people, and things,
dates, events, excuses. Its not out there..
My heart belongs to me and I cant live without it
so that I must have it, not give it away
If the suffer comes from where Im not the guardian of my own heart
holding pieces of neglect towards myself


happiness lies inside me,
and everything I will ever need,
so there is no sacrifice
Sacrifice was a bad word, that means you do things without love
means that someone suffers.

There is no love without freedom,
no love to grow around fear and pressure

That I have drop the desire for bending reality
for covering my eyes and saying the evil lie:
Im sacrificing for you, my love.